3/31/2010

Fantasy Hardball

I took part in a fantasy draft not long ago and was aiming for solid, lipogrammatic guys to play on my squad.  Down to brass tacks, though, picking all and only guys on my list was an impossibility.  My fantasy lipogram ball club:
C: Kurt Suzuki, Oakland A's
1B: Troy Glaus, Atlanta
2B: Brandon Phillips, Cincinnati
3B: Pablo Sandoval, San Francisco Giants
SS: Troy Tulowitzki, Colorado
OF: Justin Upton, Arizona Diamondbacks
OF: Shin-Soo Choo, Indians
OF: Carl Crawford, Tampa Bay Rays

SP: Roy Oswalt, Houston Astros
SP: Tommy Hanson, Atlanta
SP: Adam Wainwright, St. Louis Cardinals
SP: Matt Cain, San Francisco Giants
RP: Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants
RP: Carlos Marmol, Chicago Cubs
And my back-ups: Adam Lind, Toronto; Matt Holliday, St. Louis Cardinals; Marco Scutaro, Boston; Gavin Floyd, Chicago; Ichiro Suzuki, Sailors (a strain, I know, sorry); and Matt Garza, Tampa Bay Rays.

A tad soft at first, but a strong squad all around.  Tough to win against that group. I would put that club up against anybody.

And I should add that partial inspiration for this was found at this spot, which was found via that spot.  Thanks for linking and providing such brilliant information.

3/26/2010

Famous Quotations - Film

This could go on and on, so I'm stopping at six.
  • Frankly, my darling, apathy is my primary antiphon to that.
  • It's living!  It's living!
  • Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through this world, son.
  • You had this girl at "Howdy".
  • You can't wrap your mind around what's actually factual.
  • If you build it, your dad will show up.
I'm hoping I didn't spoil that last film for you.  OK, an additional six of common origin.
  • Of any gin joint in any town in this world, this girl walks into my gin joint.
  • This is to looking at you, kid.
  • Louis, I think this is a start to a pulchritudinous companionship.
  • Play it again, Sam.  Play "As Days March By".
  • Round up our usual suspicious individuals.
  • You and I will always think back fondly on Paris.

3/25/2010

An Initial Appraisal of Gadsby: Champion of Youth

Thanks to a kind gift, I am working my way through a singular book.  A book that was an inspiration for this blog, Gadsby: Champion of Youth, by a man I will call Sir Wright (can't so much as do his initials, which is fitting).  Calling him "Sir" may sound pompous, but I think such a skillful man warrants august titling.  Authoring a fifty-thousand word story without using such a common symbol is no small thing.

A fourth of my way through his book, though, I am sad to say it's a tad disappointing.  Possibly, that's unjust on my part; as I just said, that particular stylistic goal trumps all in this work, and criticism should account for that difficulty.  My adoration for Sir Wright and his arch-goal notwithstanding, my two primary thoughts thus far:

First, witty turns of phrasing occur, no doubt, but Gadsby's plot is basically just a chain of public works to this point.  Build a hospital.  Plant oaks and firs.  Build an airport.  Start a night-schooling program.  Build a zoo.  Not too thrilling.  Writing in 1939, it is not too surprising that Sir Wright sounds highly in favor of big FDR-ish social programs.  "A town can accomplish anything with a sound civic focus of mind" is our author's basic assumption.  Nothing wrong with that sort of optimism, but, man, Wright will just push and push it without stopping.  Solving any difficulty is just a function of mobilizing a handful of altruistic activists.  Wright lays it on thick.  Any conflict in any upcoming subplots will find my arms radiating outward, but I am not optimistic, as only faux antagonists show up, and only occasionally.

Um, sub-first, Wright oddly, in my opinion, broadcasts his handicap continually within his story.  As an illustration, this short quotation about stocking a zoo. 
Now, you know that all animals can't find room in this orthographically odd story; so, if you visit Lucy Zoo, you'll miss a customary inhabitant, or two.  But you'll find an array worthy of your trip.  (35*)
An astounding listing of animals follows just a paragraph down.  Why not allow said list to talk on its own?  Fracturing that fourth wall can work, but doing things subtly is usually a good way to go.  And that's just an individual illustration.  I found many similar quotations.  Although, if a word such as "orthographically" is in your vocabulary, why not throw it out now and again, right?

All this, as I said, is about a partial scan of this book, so a lot of its plot is still unfolding.  Conflict may start soon, who knows?  If Gadsby's story wins this critic at last or not, such an ambitious book will support many posts with its myriad thought-provoking and/or humorous quotations.

* Additional annotation is proving difficult. 

3/17/2010

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Lipograms is highly in favor of Saint Patrick.  Driving away slimy crawling animals is OK by us.  Not as fond of his symbolic color, obviously, but you can't always win.

Irish things Lipograms favors:
  1. Stout
  2. My Bloody [Inamorata]
  3. Mulligatawny Soup
  4. Pubs
  5. U2
  6. Hot Pot
  7. That MacGowan guy and his bands
  8. Shamrock malts from McDonald's
Irish things Lipograms could do without:
  1. That bald O'Connor woman
  2. Thin Lizzy
  3. Oxtail Soup
Sort-of- or non-Irish things that this post brought to mind and almost got on our lists (which list for which thing?  I'm not saying):
  1. Fish and chips
  2. Corndogs
  3. Haggis
  4. Kilts
  5. Twilight Sad 
  6. Mondays


    Famous Quotations - Sports

    Lombardi: Winning isn't a totality of things, it's a singular thing to such a point that no ancillary things count.

    Ali: Float a la a moth's cousin, sting a la a bug from an apiary.

    Unknown: It's not if you win or don't win, it's how you play a sport.

    Lou: Today, I am appraising yours truly, this world's primary lucky guy.

    Yogi: Nobody visits that location, it's too full of folks.

    March Insanity!

    If you want a solid approach to scrying* this spring's NCAA hoops championship, Lipograms can assist.  My formula should not astound any of you.  All you do is count up a program's flaws.  Now, you may think I look at ball-handling or shooting skills, but that's not vital, as it turns out. 

    Vital to making fruitful picks is karma.  Schools incorporating our taboo symbol will no doubt bow to karmic fury for such audacity.  Knowing this should put you in command of your pool.  Good luck.

    Click this link for Lipogram's Official Picks.


    * If you don't think my karmic approach is any good, how do you account for such a wondrous pick for alphadictionary.com's daily word right as I was drafting this? 

    3/14/2010

    Nursing & Rhyming in Lipogram

    Jack and Jill did go up a hill to grab a pail of liquid.
    Jack did fall down and smash his crown.
    And Jill did so also (although that girl had no crown to crack).

    An itsy bitsy arachnid did go up an aquatic spout.
    Rain did drop and wash that arachnid out.
    That solar disk did visit to dry up all that rain.
    And that itsy bitsy arachnid did try it again.

    Baa Baa black ruminant mammal do you own any wool?
    Yup, sir. Yup, sir. Just short of four bags full.
    A bag for my boss.
    And a bag for that broad.
    And a bag for that small boy who has a habitat down our road.

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
    Humpty Dumpty had a significant fall.
    All our king's stallions and all our king's manpanions
    Couldn't put Humpty into a condition of unity again!

    It's raining, it's pouring;
    That old man is snoring.
    Hit his noggin;
    And that guy laid down;
    And that guy couldn't stand up in that following morning.
    Rain, rain, go away
    Visit again a distinct day;
    Small Johnny wants to play.

    Mary had a small lamb, small lamb, small lamb,
    Mary had a small lamb, its fur was light as snow.
    And all spots that Mary got to, Mary got to, Mary got to,
    And all spots that Mary got to, that lamb was no doubt to go.
    It did follow Mary to school on an occasion, school on an occasion, school on an occasion,
    It did follow Mary to school on an occasion, which was against standards.
    It was causing kids to laugh and play, laugh and play, laugh and play,
    It was causing kids to laugh and play to look at a lamb at school.


    (Co-authoring parts of this post was a pal I call J. Ward)

    3/11/2010

    NFL Draft Analysis, Part I

    It's approaching D-Day, H-Hour for football fans as NFL squads adjust plans of action for our run up to draft day.  It falls to yours truly to broadcast any sports information that might show up on this blog; Lord knows my co-author won't do it, as Flo's floccinaucinihilipilification* about sporting affairs knows no bounds**.  Thus, my thoughts on a position-by-position basis follow.

    A handful of young guns will audition for a spot taking snaps.  A quick synopsis of six of 2010's top guys:
    1. Sam Bradford from Oklahoma ranks atop this list according to my analysis. An injury-fraught history will harm his status, but a coach should risk picking him fairly high.
    2. I would not draft a guy who willfully opts to go by "Jimmy".   Maturity is paramount at this position, and a Jimmy lacks it almost indubitably.
    3. For my dollar, Colt McCoy, not commonly thought first round quality, will grant solid production for low cost.  Gritty, that McCoy.
    4. Cowboy Zac Robinson : am I including him simply for no typing difficulty?  Mainly, but Robinson's good, though.
    5. That Tim guy from Florida will not pan out.  Possibly a solid H-back in coming days.
    6.  And last but not most trivial (just kidding, most trivial, too, by far), my tricky, sly pick: Jonathan Crompton.  Can't say much about his NCAA affiliation, but what NFL squad won't want to add a guy with disturbing, wispy facial hair?  Can't miss.  As long as you aim at a UFL slot.


    * Ha!  Did I do that right?
    ** Not totally truthful.  Flo plays kickball.

    3/09/2010

    Oath of Loyalty

    I affirm my loyalty, to a flag, of this harmonious association-- my country -- and to that administration for which it stands, a unitary nation with instruction from God, that will not split, with no arbitrary control and with fair actions towards all.

    Notification of Autonomy

    On various occasions during human history, an obligation falls on a polity to annul that which bound said polity with a distinct polity and to adopt among all nations of this world, a distinct and homologous station to which all Laws of Cosmos and of Cosmos's God grant to that community, a fitting valuation of mankind's opinions insists that said polity should proclaim that which prods it toward disjunction.

    Original

    3/08/2010

    Famous Quotations

    If I had my way (as I think I should), this topic would (and will) occur again and again on this blog...

    With that, I put forward a handful of quotations, in lipogram format, that Gadsby and I thought of as a group of two:

    - I got to a location; I saw; I won.

    - Upon raining, it also pours.

    - If at first you do wrong, try again.

    - Allow common folk to swallow floury stuff with icing!

    - Post-birth, absorb wisdom and information.

    - That guy who laughs last lasts.

    - If in Italy, acting as Italians do is okay.

    With that, I say goodnight.
    -Flo

    Oscar Mania!

    Lots of goings on from a big awards show last night.  A short list of thoughts:
    • Slain Nazi Christoph Waltz's win for supporting actor was unsurprising.  Matt Damon got a nomination for playing rugby.  Why not? 
    • How about that costuming woman?  "I got two Oscars prior to tonight, so this trophy . . . um, so what?  Thanks anyway."  Who says that sort of thing?  You brought that off horribly, darling.
    • Logorama, from Gaul, won for short films.  Probably will not catch it, but who knows?
    • A flick about giant robots got a nomination for sound mixing, I think highly of Autobots, but I'm glad it didn't win.
    • Avatar: although coming up short, according to critics, on a lot of fronts, its naming is unmistakably a strong point.  District 9 has an OK tag, too.   
    • Up got a nomination for paramount award.  An animation couldn't possibly win that, but a solid showing all around.
    • Sandra Bullock with a big win.  Surprising victory for a non-arty, popular film.
    • Tom Hanks was was working quickly and not fooling around, naming an Iraq War film 2009's top dog.  I was told it was good, but so good that no films surpass it?  Opinions vary.   
     All in all, a fun show.  Glad I caught it.

    3/07/2010

    A stumbling block

    A primary difficulty thus far is pronouns.  As our inspiration signals in his introduction, many pronouns run afoul of our standards.  Obviously, an author can avoid pronouns, but doing so can disrupt normal word flow.  An illustration:
    Flo won't want you to know this, but acrobatics is among a broad batch of Flo's skills. 
    A pronoun would, no doubt, boost flow.  So far, though, I cannot find a phrasing that capably conducts a notion that an individual owns or has a thing without duplicating a noun or using highly awkward syntax.

    In support of clarity

    Hoping to avoid accusations of short-cutting in coming days and months, I propound what follows as a clarification of our standards:
    1. Using digits shall not count as a violation, notwithstanding what any digit's pronunciation may imply.
    2. Sound grammar should win out, although stylistic variation is OK, within limits.
    3. Cutting and pasting hotlinks with a taboo mark shall not count as a violation providing said mark is invisibly put in a post.
    4. On obvious grounds, this blog is partial to paraphrasing.  Using quotations shall not occasion pity.  A quotation must conform or it will cost you.
    5. Should any violation occur, an author of a violation shall fix it utilizing words struck through so an account of said violation stays in sight.
    Additional clarifying points will probably spring up as our wisdom unpacks this task.

    Thoughts?

    Holidays for Blogging

    I was happy to find that many holidays I fancy most conform to this Blog's abdication of that particular symbol. To boot, I saw that symbols and things that accompany said holidays in my mind also adapt to our standards. How uncanny!
    As particular illustrations:
    (i) my birthday (along with icing, party hats, clowns, and balloons);
    (ii) Gadsby's birthday (which is upcoming this month and at which icing, party hats, clowns, and balloons will also visit);
    (iii) National Corndog Day (including hoops to watch and dogs, tots, and hops-drinks for consumption);
    (iv) Christmas (along with carols, Santa, gifts, hot cocoa, and ho-ho-hos); and
    (v) Saint Patrick's Day (plus hops-drinks with spinach coloring, shamrocks, and Irish traditions).

    I could go on, but, alas, I must sign off.
    Ta ta,
    Flo

    3/06/2010

    History in its making

    What could possibly goad us on, you may ask?  What might put such a task in motion?

    Our story won't blow you away, but it starts with an affinity for playing trivia.  Around dusk on any particular day, you can probably find us at a bar taking random stabs at which running backs had 2000 yards rushing but did not win NFL MVP* and things such as that.  Normally, such nights pass prosaically.  But not that particular night.

    That night, an inquiry was "What was uncommon about Gadsby: Champion of Youth, a fifty thousand word book from 1939?"  You probably know by now.  Upon additional cogitation on such a colossal task - writing a full book with such a constriction! - a trial was laid out: could our group avoid that symbol in our communications for a span of 7 days?

    Initial whacks at this did not always go smoothly.  As an illustration, this is an actual IM transcript from your unassuming authors:

    Flo: Stuck w folks w whom I work
    Flo: Trying to go
    Gadsby: No rush.
    Flo: Must find out
    Flo: Can go in short bit
    Flo: Is local spot at 830 or 8?
    Gadsby: Sweet.  I'm ok with [this location] or [that location]. Soon > not soon, though.
    Flo: Is [this location at] 830?
    Flo: If so, can find you at 815 in vicinity of your abode
    Gadsby: Ha. That last is bad. Wyoming is at 830. Plan sounds good.
    Flo: F
    Flo: Habitat
    Gadsby: Much, um, good.
    Flo: Must find car. Will in four. Will find you in (four + four) - (four/two).
    Gadsby: ? I think digits should work.
    Flo: K. 6 from now.
    Flo: Just finding outward canal
    No doubt that difficult phrasing abounds in all that.  Particularly amusing: my pointing out Flo's flaw just down from an unconscionably atrocious miss of my own.  But all is not lost.  Improving is a major goal of ours.  Will it occur?  Who knows?


    * This guy and this guy.

    Thanks for that salutation, Gadsby

    You may ask, "why floccinaucinihilipilification"? Simply put, that word has many symbols, but not that particular symbol that I shun on this Blog.
    You may also ask, "what is 'floccinaucinihilipilification''s import?" It is an act or habit of saying or thinking a thing is without worth: http://www.alphadictionary.com/goodword/word/floccinaucinihilipilification.
    Happy blogging.

    3/05/2010

    And a warm lipogrammatical salutation

    . . . to my co author, floccinaci, floccinauchinfloccinaucinisimplification, um, Flo. 

    Floccinaucinihilipilification?  That's an actual thing?

    Anyway, I'm glad to join Flo in this avocation.  As for any clarification of what that gigantic word might signify, I humbly tap that ball into my companion's court.

    Facing our host program's flaws candidly

    Sadly, nothing within my ability will fix any violations of protocol built in to this blog's formatting.  I count six across our top and a trio to port.  Your count may contradict that if it's conditional on your status - that is to say, if you log in or out, options and links may shift and add to or subtract from my count.  A final tally is of no import, though.  Although said abominations sit idly mocking our labors, your authors shall not sway or flinch.  Should an opportunity for doctoring show up, abolition of all unfit symbols will occur.

    Starting Up

    Aloha and bon jour,

    Our goal with this blog is to avoid that most common symbol in our vocabulary.  Such a standard will no doubt push us to summits of communication unknown prior to this pursuit.

    Word has it full books conform to this constriction.  Our aim is low in comparison: only to charm and occupy our minds. 

    Posts may contain additional complications as situations warrant.